You are a unique individual, your strengths and needs and goals and timing and intensity are different from other people’s, and you deserve a therapy that is as long and as short as you want it to be. Deciding “when’s enough” will be a joint project within the therapy—like everything else.
There is nothing I can know about you ahead of time, without our discovering and understanding it together. You cannot be found anywhere in a textbook or in my past experience, and everything we “decide” or “figure out” has to be uniquely and specifically you.
We all have issues, past experiences, or traits that we’re ashamed of and hate to think about. Many of them are pretty trivial, but for ourselves they’re painful. Over the years we’ve wrapped them up in several layers of wrapping paper, and we avoid touching them because they weaken our self-esteem, which is the number one ingredient in feeling good.
Those wrapped up, out-of-sight bits act make trouble for us. We constantly have to invest energy to keep them out of our minds. Which causes us to distort things that are happening in order to avoid becoming conscious of them. And they’re sneakily undermining our self-esteem even so. So an important part of therapy is to bring these bits out into the light, understand better how they came about and how they are not our fault, and stop being ashamed of them.
As we learn to be tolerant and understanding of ourselves, our self-esteem revives, so we have more creative energy and more positive energy in our relationships.
Dependency is a major issue in everyone’s life—whether they’re the “dependent” or the “independent” type, the issue is always around. So it’s going to come up in therapy. The responsible therapist brings it into the light, where it can be seen, thought about and worked with, so eventually, you will gain extra confidence to freely explore (and navigate) your emotional world on your own.
You may very well. And if you feel confident that you’re moving in the right direction at an acceptable pace, don’t come...
First of all, I want to make it very clear that delving into the past does not always mean “finding the guilty party.” This attitude...